Bands who aren't afraid to tell it like it is, part 1

This is the first installment of a long series about bands who just say what's up. They don't give a fuck. They are the Howard Sterns of music - they say what everyone's thinking but no one wants to say. It's all about cutting through the bullshit. Clarity, you know?

So the inaugural honor goes to Godsmack and their new single, "Cryin' Like a Bitch." Man, who can't relate to that? I say that all the time. I hate when people cry like a bitch.

I find that the sexist-fueled attacking of masculinity is very effective. Here are a few examples:

1. Sometimes when I'm beating a dude's ass real hard and he's about to tap, he'll start cryin like a bitch. And I'll call him on it. I'll be like, "UR CRYIN LYK3 A BITCH!!!11!!" And he can't say anything, cause first of all he's crying (which brings me to my next point), but he's cryin like a bitch, so what is he gonna say, "NO, I'm not cryin like a bitch?" Cause he is, you know? So I'll jump up victoriously and run around the octagon and be like, "HEY EVRY1, HE IS CRYIN LIKE A BITCH, DO YOU SEE HIM? THERE ARE TEARS!" And it's true. Then everyone sees it. They see that I won, too.
2. It works well as a noun, too. When I'm out driving in my truck, and I see someone who either unintentionally makes me feel threatened or looks like an easy target, I'll say, "Hey cryin like a bitch!" And then when they look over, I'll be like "What the fuck are you looking at, cryin like a bitch?! I'll make you cry like a bitch if you keep it up, bitch." And then they stop, you know? Cause they don't want to make me make them cry like a bitch. No one wants to go anywhere cryin like a bitch. I would bitchslap them back into place, fuckin little bitches.

Fuck yeah. You feel it?