Buckets for the Cure

Not fucking kidding. This is in line with a series of fictional, hopelessly misdirected/evil charitable organizations friends and I came up with, such as Dumpsters for Africa, which would send American dumpsters to impoverished African countries so that people there would be able to root through them and get something to eat and Wells for Children, which would be addressing the problem of overpopulation.

Anyway, Buckets for the Cure. It's real. It involves you buying a bucket (does anyone even think about the fact that the packaging of your "food" is a bucket?) of greasy fried death hormone torture chicken at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and them giving fifty cents to the Susan G. Komen foundation that does things with breast cancer, which isn't the leading cause of death among women in America, the leading cancer among women in America or the most deadly cancer among women in America. However, it does seem to be the only disease among women in America that deserves much interest, as evinced by pink everything. Breast cancer has been commodified to no end, and I cannot imagine how much money that foundation has made for corporations (like Proctor and Gamble, with their fucking pink Swiffer - does cancer stick to it?Who knows how many diseases that company has given people with its toxic everything.). Maybe some corporate megaboard controls it.

Fifty cent donation. Wow. WOW, Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is really owned by Yum! Brands, which is really owned by Pepsi), WOW. You are so giving. Wow.

Anyway, yeah, so it's offensive to the senses, but also offensive to any idea of health, in a very simple way: eating this shit will help you get breast cancer, as well as many other diseases. It will make your breast cancer worse. An anti-breast cancer foundation is telling you to go eat it, explicitly. Perhaps not as explicitly, they are telling you to eat as much of it as you can afford/stomach, so they can get money "for breast cancer." What ABOUT breast cancer? "Research."

Here is the result of a little bit of research I've done: stop eating garbage. It helps out with many ills. I promise.

They are encouraging you to eat some of the unhealthiest food available. To fund them. To help fix you. When you get sick from eating it. Insane. And bankrupt.

If anyone cares enough, why don't you just send money to the foundation itself? Probably cause you are fat, lazy and love an excuse to eat more trash. Pepsi is gonna make extra millions off of your stupid, thoughtless, gullible fat ass. They're the real charity.