MODERN FUCKING DAY GODDAMN ESCAPE

HELL YEAH BRO. This shit is the new SHIT. The fucking SHIT bro. BRO. Modern Day Escape rules so fucking hard up in here. They are like My Chemical Romance, Avenged Sevenfold (A FUCKING SEVEN X) and Poison all wrapped up into one haircut.

So yeah, they are SIKK. Everyone in the video is SO HOT. HOTTT. HAWT. Man, are they lucky. Guys like them get all the breaks, hanging out at that awesome party with all those hot people. If only we were willing to play enough battles of the bands and shows where you have to sell tickets to play, then we could be at THAT SAME PARTY. But we're not, and we'll never be there, cause we don't have that work ethic. They are like Black Flag and we are like some band you never heard of but was around when Black Flag was and the reason you never heard of them is cause they were lazy and never did anything but Black Flag did.

Man, el oh el, is that Michael Jackson shirt FUNNY. I love funny things.

Even though we suck and are a lazy band of do nothings, the fucking sikk azz crucial bros (ALWAYS before hos, I assure you) MODERN DAY IS WAR ESCAPE THE FATE are taking us under their wing. After we get back from touring with that band that sounds like Attack Attack, and then after we are done brutalizing Christian coffeehouses in the Midwest with I Seahorse Monsters, THEN we are gonna go out with these dudes. And not just out. We're gonna go OFF. Maybe we can get some of their old clothes. I guess they have motivation stitched into the seams or something.

Next favorite band

Holy shit. This one is the biggest mess yet. What a fucking wreck. Pop punk autotuned christian mall metalcore. I honestly do not think I have ever seen a more heartless band (see the drummer/autotune guy at any point throughout the video, the string section attempting to go off, particularly at 2:19, 2:25 2:47, 2:53, 3:14 and 3:36, the singer at 2:45, when HE FUCKING THROWS CARDS). Holy crap does this shit suck.



LOOK AT THE DRUMMER'S FUCKING FILL AT 1:30. It does not even closely match the recording.

Matching white v-neck shirts (sorry keyboard player, I guess they didn't have any six packs of Hanes at Target). A bouncing camera. A card game with a one dollar bill (1:34).

Also, the singer has a carabiner that does not seem to be attached to anything, which can be viewed at 0:45. Wow.

We will tour all the way to Cornerstone with them this year, with a limited edition split seven inch, shaped like an iPhone, available in several neon colors as well as all-over print.

Some new favorite bands

We've made some new friends lately, and shit are we excited. Over the next week or so, I'll be putting up videos of some of them so you are all already into it by the time we go on tour with them or put that split out.

The first one is This Romantic Tragedy. They are probably Christian and they are DEFINITELY crabcore. Everyone who is anyone knows that crabcore rules and that's that. This band takes a lot of influence from the godfathers, Attack Attack, but there ain't a damn thing wrong with that. Crabcore 4 lyf3 man, crabcore 4 lyf3.

THEY ARE SO SICK. They all kind of have skunk hair to one degree or another and the singer has a brutal chinstrap that I don't think quite goes all the way around his jaw line. The keyboard player is just so crayzee that he can't stop himself from jumping up on it like Pepe the organ grinder monkey. They also ratchet the autotune up way higher. SO SICK.

They flip their guitars better than Attack Attack. THERE I SAID IT.

New tour

Yeah, so the tour with Corporate Avenger fell through. Fuck. It's cool. We got something better coming down the line, in November. Behold:

ATTACK ATTACK! Yeah, that's right. We don't know what they sound like, but it does not matter. LOOK AT THEM. They are fucking awesome and we knew immediately that we can barely lick their assholes, let alone write songs as good as theirs. The guy with the black v-neck shirt who does not have a blowover 'fro, pretty sure his collarbone tattoo says "Only God Can Judge Me."

THIS IS GOING TO RULE HARD.