Planned Parenthood

Now, I know that no one reads this blog, and if anyone were to do so, it is highly unlikely that she or he would be of the conservative persuasion, but given the recent "controversy" over Planned Parenthood and abortion, which a bunch of regressive people are trying to make the same thing, and the fact that a woman has a right to do whatever she likes with her body, I do feel that it is necessary to disseminate the reality of the organization's actions as far and wide as possible.

Here is an image that I found in the Washington Post that breaks down its services by percentage in a friendly pie chart:

Abortion services, three percent. Not that it matters. It could be a hundred percent, and that would be fine. But it just gives the lie to all those woman haters and religious zealots out there, talking about how Planned Parenthood is this massive baby killing machine or whatever.

Also, let us never forget the fact that the federal funding that Planned Parenthood gets is barred from being used for abortions, as it has been since 1976.

G-slide

Heard this on the radio the other night. Could not believe my ears. The magic of the internet allows me to relive the magic at will, and share with you.

If you cannot take it, just skip to 1:58.

Praise Pastor Terry Jones

Of course the man is a beyond reprehensible piece of shit who will hopefully fall into his bonfire, but hooray for him for being stupid enough to do the things necessary to speed us towards the ultimate goal of getting the fuck off the planet.

Mr. Jones, 58, a former hotel manager with a red face and a white handlebar mustache, argues that as an American Christian he has a right to burn Islam’s sacred book because “it’s full of lies.” And in another era, he might have been easily ignored, as he was last year when he posted a sign at his church declaring “Islam is of the devil.”

But now the global spotlight has shifted. With the debate in New York putting religious tensions front and center, Mr. Jones has suddenly attracted thousands of fans and critics on Facebook, while around the world he is being presented as a symbol of American anti-Islamic sentiment...

Mr. Jones who seems to spend much of his time inside a dank, dark office with a poster from the movie “Braveheart” and a picture of former President George W. Bush, appears to be largely oblivious to the potential consequences of his plans. Speaking in short sentences with a matter-of-fact drawl, he said that he could not understand why other Christians, including the nation’s largest evangelical association, had called for him to cancel “International Burn a Koran Day..."

He acknowledged that it had brought in at least $1,000 in donations. But he said that the interviews he had done with around 150 news outlets all over the world were useful mainly because they had helped him “send a message to Islam and the pushers of Shariah law: that it is not what we want.”

Mr. Jones said that nothing in particular had set him off. Asked about his knowledge of the Koran, he said plainly: “I have no experience with it whatsoever. I only know what the Bible says.”

Fuck all religions. They are all wrong and stupid. Nothing but old stories and morals, threats to keep in line. All gods are myths. There are no prophets. We have no saviors.

Getting the Postal Service right

And all it took was long hair, v-neck shirts, autotune and a lot of Jesus. Everyone knows that the Postal Service was one of the worst bands of all time. They had no screaming, their guitars were not even distorted and not one song was about God. Thankfully, Confide has come along and righted every single wrong in the Postal Service's "Such Great Heights." The title of that song was ironic cause it sucked so bad and sounded like Satan, but the new one rules so much and is pretty much the aural equivalent of all-over print.

I was hanging out with them when they were dragging the song's lifeless body from the lake of fire, so I can provide you with a little exclusive insider information on its genesis:

"Bro, God be blessed, let's do it with super-distorted, shitty sounding guitars."

"You stupid fag, praise the Lord, of course we will do it like that."

"Hey bro, keeping in mind that I hate Satan, maybe we could also throw some autotune in there."

"Well yeah, we will slide that to the drummer, cause Christian mall-metalcore drummers always love autotune, which is God's gift to the world."

"Sikk bro, sikk, God is so great, I figure we should also insert a sick, sick, brutal breakdown in there."

"HEAVEN yeah bro, HEAVEN yeah."

"Man, we are gonna bang so many fourteen year olds with this one, God willing."

"I hope so bro, if it is God's divine providence."

Next favorite band

Holy shit. This one is the biggest mess yet. What a fucking wreck. Pop punk autotuned christian mall metalcore. I honestly do not think I have ever seen a more heartless band (see the drummer/autotune guy at any point throughout the video, the string section attempting to go off, particularly at 2:19, 2:25 2:47, 2:53, 3:14 and 3:36, the singer at 2:45, when HE FUCKING THROWS CARDS). Holy crap does this shit suck.



LOOK AT THE DRUMMER'S FUCKING FILL AT 1:30. It does not even closely match the recording.

Matching white v-neck shirts (sorry keyboard player, I guess they didn't have any six packs of Hanes at Target). A bouncing camera. A card game with a one dollar bill (1:34).

Also, the singer has a carabiner that does not seem to be attached to anything, which can be viewed at 0:45. Wow.

We will tour all the way to Cornerstone with them this year, with a limited edition split seven inch, shaped like an iPhone, available in several neon colors as well as all-over print.